One Ridiculous NIght

Good luck with this one Carolina.

I really don’t want to talk about the first round of last night’s NFL draft. It was the most ridiculous first round in the history of the league.

The questions left unanswered, the constant reaching for draft picks, the fact that Daquan Bowers is still on the board and Jake Locker is off of it.

You know what? Forget the introduction let’s just get into it:

1. CAROLINA PANTHERS- CAM NEWTON, QB, AUBURN

They should’ve taken Marcel Daerus instead because he’s ready to make an impact now while Newton is still a work in progress. Also why take the bigger, blacker version of Jimmy Clausen? Highly-touted, arrogant and filled with question marks.

2. DENVER BRONCOS- VON MILLER, LB, TEXAS A&M

On a scale of one to ten how happy do you think John Fox is right now? A definite upgrade for a poor defense.

3. BUFFALO BILLS- MARCEL DAERUS, DT, ALABAMA

Paul Pozluszny you’re welcome.

4. CINCINATTI BENGALS- A.J. GREEN, WR, GEORGIA

The best receiver in the draft goes to a team that really needed defensive line help. The Bengals already have Jordan Shipley, Jermaine Gresham and Chad whatever his name is now, so why more help on the outside. On the other hand you have to like the fact that the Bengals realize that Chad is getting older and won’t be able to be a primary receiver for much longer. But here’s the big question, who’s going to throw them the ball?

5. ARIZONA CARDINALS- PATRICK PETERSON, DB, LSU

Peterson on one side, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie on the other? Sam Bradford, Pete Carroll, and Jim Harbaugh all puked in their mouths a little bit.

6. ATLANTA FALCONS (FROM CLEVELAND) – JULIO JONES, WR, ALABAMA

The Falcons should file a police report against the Browns for this.

The Falcons traded 5 draft picks in this years and next year’s draft to pick a wide receiver… A WIDE RECEIVER!!! Did they know that they could’ve stayed in that same 27 spot and gotten Jon Baldwin and Greg little who both can actually catch?

(Side Note: did Mike Holmgren hold a gun to the Falcons head to make this trade? Because there is no way that the Falcons could’ve proposed this deal. Well maybe if they were drunk.)

7. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS- ALDON SMITH, DE, MISSOURI

The first time in the draft I asked, is this guy better than Bowers? Also the 49ers taking a guy named A. Smith… not a good sign.

8. TENNESSEE TITANS- JAKE LOCKER, QB, WASHINGTON

Ok, if you like a guy and he’s rated high on your then you take him… but taking a QB that everyone had rated in the late first to second round at number, who is an inaccurate passer and has an injury filled past, c’mon son!

9. DALLAS COWBOYS, TYRON SMITH, OT, USC

The Cowboys find the man to protect Tony Romo’s backside, or the next Flozell Adams.

10. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (FROM WASHINGTON) – BLAINE GABBERT, QB, MISSOURI

A good trade to get the replacement for David Garrard. Also I think Blaine will fit into the L.A. scene perfectly once this team moves.

11. HOUSTON TEXANS- J.J. WATT, DE, WISCONSIN

The Texans get some much needed help for Mario Williams on the other side of the D-line. Now if they could only fix their secondary then they would have a decent defensive unit.

12. MINNESOTA VIKINGS- CHRISTIAN PONDER, QB, FLORIDA STATE

Um… ok… you couldn’t trade down and get him in the early second round where he was going to go?

(At this point in the draft I was so annoyed with teams reaching for quarterbacks, making stupid trades and not drafting Daquan Bowers that I considered slamming my head into a wall. Note to the commissioner, don’t ever hold a draft before free agency ever again.)

13. DETROIT LIONS- NICK FAIRLEY, DT, AUBURN

Did you watch the national title game? Now picture that with Ndamukong Suh… now picture Aaron Rodgers, Jay Cutler and Ponder all wetting themselves.

14. ST. LOUIS RAMS- ROBERT QUINN, DE, NORTH CAROLINA

Yeah, Steve Spagnuolo is really going to let a freak like Quinn slip by him any longer. Yet two question linger; 1. How pissed do you think Sam Bradford was the Jones was gone at 6 and that Danny Amendola is still his number 1 receiver and 2. Is Quinn better than Bowers?

15. MIAMI DOLPHINS- MIKE POUNCEY, C, FLORIDA

Him and Suh together? GULP!

I wanted the Giants to get Pouncey badly, but it’s good that Miami got a good offensive lineman to protect their scaredy cat quarterback.

16. WASHINGTON REDSKINS (FROM JACKSONVILLE) – RYAN KERRIGAN, DE, PURDUE

The Redskins need everything at this point so Kerrigan is a start, but again, is he better than Bowers?

17. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS- NATE SOLDER, OT, COLORADO

Solder had questions about his size but his technique is on point and he should help that aging offensive line immediately.

18. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS- COREY LIUGET, DT, ILLINOIS

A good pick but Prince Amakamura would’ve been better for a poor pass coverage unit that needs a stout cornerback.

19. NEW YORK GIANTS- PRINCE AMAKAMURA, CB, NEBRASKA

Ask me how worried I was that Jerry Reese was going to take another pass rusher… go ahead ask.

Do I like the Amakamura pick? Yeah. With no offensive linemen worth reaching for why not take the second best defensive back in the draft and bolster your pass coverage?

20. TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS- ADRAIN CLAYBORN, DE, IOWA

If he replicates what he did at Iowa then Tampa’s defense will be back to the Warren Sapp-Simeon Rice days in no time.

21. CLEVELAND BROWNS (FROM ATLANTA) – PHIL TAYLOR, DT, BAYLOR

The Browns begin rebuilding at every position with the Taylor pick. The first of many gifts from Atlanta at no cost.

(No seriously, I can’t believe Arthur Blank Ok’d that trade. Julio Jones better be the second coming of Jerry Rice or Jesus Christ or the Falcons will pay dearly for this.)

22. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS- ANTHONY COSTANZO, OT, BOSTON COLLEGE

The rebuilding of the offensive line continues with Costanzo. Gotta wonder if they’ll improve that run defense though through free agency… whenever that starts.

23. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES- DANNY WATKINS, OG, BAYLOR

The Eagles under Andy Reid have drafted 39 offensive linemen from 1998-2011… and they had one of the worst offensive lines in the league last year. So really it doesn’t matter that they picked another lineman.

24. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS- CAMERON JORDAN, DE, CALIFORNIA

Somehow he's still available.

He shot up the boards with an impressive workout and pro day, but again, is he really better than Bowers?

(Come on now. I know that there are huge concerns about Bowers knee, but this many teams are worried about it? Bowers was a consensus top pick about two months ago now he’s not even going in the first round. Whoever gets Bowers will get a monster with a gigantic chip on his shoulder.)

25. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS- JON CARPENTER, OG, ALABAMA

So they need offensive line help? Yeah. But who’s he going to block for? Charlie Whitehurst?

26. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS- JON BALDWIN, WR, PITTSBURGH

The Chiefs get Dwayne Bowe’s right hand man who has great skill and hands but is a headache on and off of the field. Todd Haley will either set him straight or stab him in the throat…and that wasn’t a joke.

27. BALTIMORE RAVENS- JASON SMITH, DB, COLORADO

The Ravens had ten minutes to work out a deal with Chicago for this deal and couldn’t get it done and Kansas City leapfrogged them for their pick. I see where Joe Flacco gets his bad decision making under pressure from.

28. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (FROM NEW ENGLANS) – MARK INGRAM, RB, ALABAMA

The Patriots trade for more future picks (shocker) and the Saints draft the underrated Ingram who could be a huge help in the run game.

(Tweet of the night: Reggie Bush: “it’s been fun New Orleans.” For you it has been Reggie, for them it’s been expensive. See ya backing up Darren McFadden in Oakland.)

29. CHICAGO BEARS- GABE CARIMI, OT, WISCONSIN

Jay Cutler had his day made with the All Big Ten lineman. Now if they can only find a receiver or 4.

30. NEW YORK JETS- MUHAMMED WILKERSON, DT, TEMPLE

The one bad thing about watching the draft at a bar with no sound was not being able to hear if the Jets booed their pick or not. Oh well, Wilkerson can’t be any worse than Vernon Gholston.

31. PITTSBURGH STEELERS- CAMERON HEYWARD, DE, OHIO STATE

Because the Steelers really need another front 7 player who’s big, strong and skilled. I hate the Steelers I really do.

32. GREEN BAY PACKERS- DEREK SHERROD, OT, MISSISSIPPI STATE

The possible conversation between Aaron Rodgers and Ted Thompson:

AR: did you see what the Lions did?

TT: yeah.

AR: Ok… so what are you going to do about it?

TT: well there really aren’t any linemen on our board Aaron.

AR: (just staring at Thompson)

TT: ok I’ll do something about it

Rodgers then leaves.

So what did we learn about this draft so far?

Cam Newton is worth all of the problems, Julio Jones is football’s Lebron James, Jake Locker and Christian Ponder’s mediocre college careers were just aberrations and apparently Daquan Bowers isn’t that good.

I’m a combination of intrigued and scared to watch the rest of this draft.

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About brooklynbuckeye


One response to “One Ridiculous NIght

  • Andrew

    Kobb and a 2nd round pick for Patrick Peterson? The Eagles did not address CB…. Cardinals did not address QB. Coincidence or pre-determined? When are you posting the team draft grades?

    PS- great article as always! A. Smith comment was priceless!

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